Doctor Sparkle's Lounge

Rage and Depression...

2007-12-13T12:41:00.000-08:00

There are times you tend to say things you never really wanted to say... you hurt people unintentionally but you realize this only when it's too late... your heart is filled with rage... there's fierceness in your eyes... anger brings you out of your sanity and like a mad man you run amidst the darkness not knowing that you're running amidst a crowd... you hit everything that you feel is blocking your way not knowing what you hit was already the person most important to you... then when reality strikes and your sanity comes back to you... you begin to see the product of your madness... you see blood all over you... not yours but someone else's... someone who matters most to you... then you see her body... lifeless... covered with blood... then it all begins to sink in... it was your fault and no one else's... and now it's too late... you've already taken away the only hope you have... depression eats you up... you feel as rotten as ever... you want to be lifeless as well... you hurt yourself... but all you feel is pain... and you realize that you're still alive... now your covered with your own blood... there's a sharp sensation all over your body... you lie on the ground... breathing heavily... wishing you were dead... but death is nowhere near... you feel more pain... and your sanity leaves you again... you're still alive... but your soul had died from the moment you hit her... now being sorry can't save her... it can't save you...

ONE MORE CHANCE...

2007-11-11T01:35:00.001-08:00

NURSING DIAGNOSIS: LOVE

2007-06-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

Nursing diagnosis for people who are in love:

Missing him/her: alteration in comfort; pain at the chest area related to missing someone

You're with him/her: risk for dehydration related to over perspiration

She finally said "yes": increased cardiac output to happiness/ over excitement

He/she kissed you: ineffective airway clearance related to over kissing

You fought: sleep pattern disturbance related to love quarrel

You broke up: imbalanced nutrition less than body requirements related to NPO(Nothing Per Orem/ nothing by mouth/ not eating) for one month secondary to break up

LOVE POEM

2007-05-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

LOVE POEM
TITA LACAMBRA-AYALA

Yonder the blue tree
weeps for me, weeps for me
it sees you
you not me.

Speak you must
sing your words
act your dreams out
dance your life

Trim grosgrain rainbow
unshod your feet
claim the terrible snowhills
swim in my sea.

Earth be sky now
sky be earth
invert your caprice
but love me love me.

I CAN NEVER TELL...

2007-04-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

Here's something I composed months ago for my special someone... it's a song... one of my little angels requested me to write a poem for her something similar to this one so I decided to post this for her until I'm able to finish the poem she requested me to write...

Life is unfair
You can never turn away
You know you love someone
But you can never make a move to tell
Just like me2x

I want to tell you
How much you mean to me
But when we are together
I can barely speak
It's bad enough
It's hard enough

I want to express
How my heart beats for you
But I have to control
This feeling that I have for you
I barely know2x

Oh give me a sign
I need to know how you feel
It's hard to pretend
That I am just another friend
It's bad enough
It's hard enough

Bridge:
I need to know how you feel
I need to know what's the deal
I need to know what is real
I need to know...

Coda:
Oh give me a sign
I need to know how you feel
It's hard to pretend
That you are just a special friend

...you are just a special friend
...special friend

THE 24 STANZA POEM...

2007-04-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

This is a poem I wrote around a year ago for my ex... it was also published in one of our school mags "UPGRADE" Volume 3 Issue 2 June 2006

I raised my head
Hoping to see light
But if you're just another shadow
If you're in the dark
How could light ever shine upon you

Used to think we can be together
Used to wish someday we will be
But now all my dreams are shattered
Scattered along the plains of sorrow
Like those broken pieces of glass

I can't explain this feeling
Slowly I am drifting
Drifting apart from who I used to be
That man I used to see

I can't say
"Please stay"
Cause you've already flown away
What more can I do
When I can no longer
Get close to you

It's all my fault
Yeah it's my fault
And I can't do anything else
But to admit it
Baby what's the use of trying
When I was the one
Who's your cause for leaving

I've already said
"I'm sorry"
But nothing's changed
I'm still weary
From that day I had to say,
"Goodbye"
Baby why can't I just die

I know now nothing's the same
Oh baby it's such a shame
But it was I who said,
"Goodnight"
Now I've lost my only light

I lost my strength,
My might
I lost my only reason,
To smile
I broke my armor and
My sword
Now I lay before
My Lord

So helpless
Cause I've been so careless
I wasn't able to admit
What you really meant

I kept denying and
Fightitng this feeling
And now that you're gone
I keep reminiscing

Why can't I just die?
How could I cry?
When all along
I was the boulder
That kept us away
From being together

I used to be your only shoulder
But now I'm just a mere watcher
Watching you bloom away from me
Wishing I was the one with thee

I used to be your only angel
But now I'm nothing but a heavy barbell
A load too heavy for you too carry
Cause I've been a fool, my baby

I used to be your only soul mate
Everything more than a mere playmate
Our hearts used to be entwined
But now you're no longer mine

I was a fool to let go of you
But that was what I was supposed to do
To stop your tears from falling down
To give you back your precious crown

But now I bear this loneliness
I've lost my only happiness
But i had to do what was right
To find myself I have to fight

Whenever I see you cry
I force myself not to try
To hug you is what I want
But to do this is what I can't

Without you,
It's hard to continue living
But I have to
Without even speaking
Or in this pool
I would be drowning
And never again
Will my light be shining

To stay away would be a crime
But to stay close is sour than lime
Now all I ask is your time
To hear me out speak these lines

"I've been hoping we could talk
And maybe just take a walk
But I'm afraid you'd refuse
And ask me, 'What's the use?'

But baby I beg you
Please hear me out
Listen I don't want to make you pout
Nor do I want to make you shout
I just want to talk it out

You are my only shoulder
The only reason I am stronger
You are my only angel
The only reason I still struggle

Baby I love you
That's what's true
But I know he's here to stay for you
And there's nothing more that I can do
But to say goodbye to what is through
It's bad enough that it didn't last
But though this is the case
I am still true
To what I always promised you

So baby now I won't say goodnight
And from your side I will not flight
To still be your guiding light
To fight for your honor with all my might
To be your knight for all of time..."

BY: Dr. Sparkle314

IN LOVE?!?

2007-04-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

My head is aching

Not because my heart is breaking

But because I cannot recognize

This feeling that I have inside

I know it is something unusual

That makes me feel emotional

Is it something illusional

Or am I just being irrational?

I hardly remember when it started

But I know that it really happened

In a split of a second I felt it

Then I knew there was something about it

You smiled and you said, “Hello.”

I wish I knew how to keep it low

This feeling that I hide inside

Is like a roller-coaster ride

I didn’t want a whirlwind romance

But I wanted to give you a chance

I wish you know I felt the same

So your life would not be maimed

But I guess it’s you and me

Against this world that’s not free

But if your word is always true

Then I’ll endure and never again will I feel blue.

BY: Dr. Sparkle314

LOST LOVE...

2007-04-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

You proposed,

I promised.

You told me,

I believed.

I said, "Not yet."

You said you'll wait.

But time rolled by,

And there you fly.

I waited in vain,

In grief and pain,

And all these years,

I could not cheer,

Still waiting, I am here.

I hoped, I prayed,

You'd be back someday,

But 'til today,

You're far away.

That day you flew,

My heart was blue,

But I stood tall,

Though I was small.

And now here I am,

Reminiscing the past,

That day I lost,

My first romance...

BY: Dr. Sparkle314